Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Randomize
