Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
