Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
