Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
