Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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