my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize