she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
