the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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