jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
