the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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