I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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