I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
