they need to just BURY HIM!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
