6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
