Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
