Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
