I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
