I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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