Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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