We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
