he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
