Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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