I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
