Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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