i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
