seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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