I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
