Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
