I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize