Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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