I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
