Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
