nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
