If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
