Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize