absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
