YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
