i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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