I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
