can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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