I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
