It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I have aggressive nipples.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
