I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
