I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
