ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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