i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How external is "for external use only"?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
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