What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
