do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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