Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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