It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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