I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
