So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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