fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
