I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
