I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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