I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize