Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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