Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
