can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
