i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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