My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
its liver damage thursday
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
