Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
