i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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