Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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