I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize