Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
