my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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