My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
