If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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