girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
