he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
