id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
