I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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