The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
