it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
