Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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