Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
