I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
