The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
